Well you know I said don't try to meet my eye, I can't take the way you stare
It already pains me to have driven from my lair
Let's not beat around the bush, you know why I came in
I need a pandinus captured wild in Benin
I hear it makes, I hear it makes an excellent beginner scorpion
If you lock the door to your vivarium when you sleep
It'll build, it'll build an underworld in vermiculite
And meet you in the germicidal deep
I've got my cash in hand, no credit cards or checks
I got burned last time taking chances with FedEx
This desert sure gets hot, with it's sparkly gypsum rocks
Like my bearded dragon smothered in it's giant mailing box
I hear it makes, I hear it makes an excellent beginner scorpion
If you lock the door to your vivarium when you sleep
It'll build, it'll build an underworld in vermiculite
And meet you in the germicidal deep
That secret agent man took me for the missing link
To the leader of the reptile ring they call the Blue-Eyed Skink
I've always been misused but I loved that agent man
Like I love my baby python stuffed inside a coffee can
I hear it makes, I hear it makes an excellent beginner scorpion
If you lock the door to your vivarium when you sleep
It'll build, it'll build an underworld in vermiculite
And meet you in the germicidal deep